So why am I not feeling the stress while sitting here at the E.R. with my dad? I’m oddly calm. I’m focused on taking breaths and being present in the space. I am not freaking out. I am the go to person for all things medical. I am the medical power of attorney for my parents for a reason. I’m in the middle of a minor medical issue with a family member and I’m the chill one that takes charge. I realize that I never freak out with medical stuff. I have laser focus and then usually crumble afterwards.
The adrenaline I depended on to get through the crisis dissipates and my brain finally acknowledges the stress and I can feel the emotional reaction take over. I usually shake from adrenaline and cannot focus on much for a little bit after. But during the crisis. I’m ice cool. I have no idea where that comes from. But I’m good under pressure.
But I’m stressed. I know I am. Check my BP and I’m sure it’s up. I sweat more when stressed out. I want to listen and focus and fix things the right way. Hyper focused might be the right word for it. This experience made me think about how we all manage psychological stress differently. Maybe I can share some insights that will help others in situations that cause you strife.
Good Stress & Bad Stress
In grad school we learned about the two different sides of stress. There is “stress” and “Eustress”. One is good stress like preparing for your wedding ceremony and one is bad stress like being overworked and not sleeping well.
There are three modes of stress, acute, episodic acute and chronic stress. Acute stress is short term with all of your body’s responses to it subsiding rather quickly. It can be good stress “Eustress” like a roller coaster ride that is scary and exhilarating all at the same time. Or bad stress like witnessing a car accident. Some of the symptoms of acute stress are pupil dilation, racing heart, sweating, fast and heavy breathing, anxiety, poor concentration, sleep disturbances and you feel like you’re on an emotional roller coaster.
Panic Attacks, Insomnia, and Headaches – Oh, My!
Chronic stress is what you probably think it is. It’s ALL THE TIME! It’s when you spend your days in and out of stressful situations and your mind and your body don’t have time to recover from the stress. It’s like a hamster wheel of stress over and over again. It’s a long term crisis mode kind of life. Like living in a war torn city, or high crime part of a town. Chronic stress can be constantly fighting with your partner or working in an environment where they are constantly being yelled at or treated poorly. Symptoms of chronic stress are more significant. You will notice changes in your weight, heightened levels of cortisol and adrenaline, panic attacks, insomnia, feelings of helplessness, emotional exhaustion and chronic headaches. This one has the ability to cause the most physical danger to your body and mind.
All of these are stressors, but what they are about and how we deal with them are a huge factor in our health. Stress is merely a feeling of emotional or physical tension. We put stress on our bodies. We put stress on inanimate objects too. Stress can happen when we feel angry, nervous or frustrated. It’s a reaction to a challenge or demand we or others put upon us. Stress can be fine when it’s in short bursts like narrowingly avoiding a car accident or taking a big exam. But stress over time can take its toll mentally and physically on you.
Some of the most common symptoms of stress include difficulty breathing, panic attacks, blurred eyesight, a disturbance in sleep, fatigue, teeth grinding, muscle aches and headaches, chest pain and high blood pressure, and indigestion or heartburn.
Do You Know Your Stress Signals?
I know what my stress signals are. Headaches, stomach aches, clenched teeth, grinding at night, terrible sleep patterns, shoulder and back tension. The big one for me is gastric issues like stomach pains and “upset bowels”. No further description needed there. Knowing your signals is one thing, but also knowing how to identify when you are stressed and resolve it are another story.
If we look at what stress does to you, we can start checking off all the boxes of the ways that it has impacted me. Early on, like in high school, I was experiencing severe stomach pain. At the age of 15 I was already having invasive tests and had my first colonoscopy. Lots of trauma there. Anyways, I digress.
Other people have diagnoses like anxiety, depression, burnout, heart disease, eating disorders. They can be worked through but it is difficult to take on by yourself and requires significant attention to your well being.
The best ways to fight stress require one first step. Acknowledging the situation and being dedicated to getting better.
Then you can add exercise. You need at least 30 mixtures at least 5 times a week. Change it up every day, make it fun, try new things, get some accountability partners all are key to staying on track.
Try some mindfulness and meditation. For the longest time I thought that meditation required me to empty my mind and that is just NOT GONNA HAPPEN. Instead I use the time to work through thoughts as they come and then let them pass on after processing. Typically I can finish a session feeling very relieved and peaceful.
I would be remiss if I didn’t mention therapy. DUHHHH. Find someone not in your friends circle you can talk to with undivided attention and full concern for your needs. Friends are great, but you want some significant time to process your own stuff without other people and their needs pressing on you.
Time management. If you’re pretty crappy in the organization department, learning some time management skills is pretty important. Staying on top of things can be very helpful when it comes to your stress level. Things that pop up that you were not prepared for can significantly alter your mood and stress level.
Nature, Food, Friends & Family – All Good Things
Go outside and be one with nature. Fresh aid and vitamin D are super important to your body. They are natural organic medications. Fresh air and sunshine can make you happy and return some of your energy and vigor. Set up some outside play date time. In Houston there are so many outside parks, outdoor eating venues, dog parks and so much more. Invite some friends and see what nature can do for you.
Eating healthy is a good way to combat stress. When you have the right fuel in your car it runs at its highest potential. Period. You can hire a dietician or just google some ideas. Taking some healthy cooking classes is a good thing as well.
Don’t forget to count your sheep. There are sleep studies that show that people who have medical issues can very frequently find relief in those symptoms from just getting the proper amount of sleep one needs.
If you have trouble sleeping, there are organic techniques you can try as well as medical interventions. Valerian root tea is a good sleepy tea that has no side effects come morning. There are a whole lot of ways to help you sleep well. The Mayo Clinic has some great suggestions here
Lastly, nothing beats the comfort of being in the presence of friends and family. Yes, you may have side of your brain on thoughts of your stressors, but as you engage with your circle of support you find that you lose some time by being with them and begin to relax.
Whatever or however you have wound up a “giant ball of stress” (yes, that’s me) I actually prefer the term, “white hot glittery mess” you have outlets for change. Reach out to anyone to get started or try a few of these techniques yourself and see what happens. If you need some help or support, you are always welcome to reach out to me too.