September Is National Suicide Prevention Month

If you don't read any further than this first paragraph, I have done my job.

If you or someone you love is currently experiencing thoughts of suicide, the most important thing you need to know is that there are places to get help. That you are loved. That you are important. And that somebody is always there for you.

Crisis Resources:

• Call or text 988 — the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24/7
• Chat online at 988lifeline.org
• Text NAMI to 741-741 to connect with a free, trained crisis counselor
• NAMI HelpLine — nami.org/help

⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING: Some parts of this post may be a trigger for others. Please take care of yourself when reading and know your boundaries.

For me, it's time to be vulnerable. In high school, I was suicidal. I was on the verge of contemplating my actual existence. I never got to the point of having a plan laid out, but I'm pretty sure I was teetering on the edge of that cliff.

A litany of traumatic things had happened to me in the beginning of my junior year. My grandmother died. My grandfather died. My best friend was in a terrible car accident — her father was killed and she was in a coma. My grades were in the toilet, probably from undiagnosed ADD. I was working part time, writing for the school paper, on the swim team and a club diving team, and acting with the school theater program. I was a white-hot glittery mess.

Eventually the dam just broke. I had no tools for managing all my stressors. I was manifesting my anxiety and depression through stomach aches and headaches. I was exhausted. I remember the morning my parents put their foot down and insisted I go to school. I lost it — sobbing hysterically on my bed with my mom. I couldn't take it anymore.

They acted quickly. We began the long journey toward my healing — our whole family's healing, really. Because while there may be one family member who is identified as struggling, they usually are expressing something the entire family may be dealing with.

I went into a day treatment facility. While there I received individual therapy, group therapy, and art therapy. I had access to a psychiatrist, nurse practitioners, and various therapists every day who were part of my treatment team. We had family therapy too — which my parents and a very reluctant younger brother participated in with me.

If you ask my mom about that time in our lives, she may get weepy. It was a crazy hard time. But we all agree that coming out the other side as a more supportive, closer family made the hard parts "worth it."

According to the CDC and NIMH, nearly 46,000 lives were lost to suicide in 2020 alone. When people make comments or express thoughts about suicide, it's called "suicidal ideation." It doesn't mean they have a current, clear plan of action. It can be small statements like "why should I even try anymore" or "no one would notice if I wasn't even here." Unchecked, these statements can get more dangerous and detail-oriented.

Warning signs to look for:

• Increased alcohol and drug use
• Aggressive behavior
• Withdrawal from friends, family, and community
• Dramatic mood swings
• Impulsive or reckless behavior

Signs of someone in active suicidal crisis:

• Collecting and saving pills or buying a weapon
• Giving away all of their possessions
• Tying up loose ends, like organizing personal papers or paying off debts
• Saying goodbye to friends and family

Suicidal behaviors are more than a cry for help — they are a psychiatric emergency.

Research has found that 46% of people who die by suicide had a known mental health condition. Other risk factors include:

• A family history of suicide
• Substance use
• Intoxication (around 1 in 5 people who die by suicide had alcohol in their system)
• Access to firearms
• A serious or chronic medical illness
• A history of trauma or abuse
• Prolonged stress
• A recent tragedy or loss

When a suicide-related crisis occurs, friends and family are often caught off-guard and unsure of what to do. There isn't one exact way to reach out — but here are NAMI's recommendations:

• Talk openly and honestly. Don't be afraid to ask questions like: "Do you have a plan for how you would hurt yourself?"
• Remove means such as guns, knives, or stockpiled pills
• Calmly ask simple and direct questions: "Can I help you call your therapist?"
• Express support and concern
• Don't argue, threaten, or raise your voice
• Don't debate whether suicide is right or wrong
• Be patient

If your friend or family member struggles with suicidal ideation on a day-to-day basis, let them know you are there for them. Use active listening techniques — reflecting their feelings and summarizing their thoughts. "I statements" like "It seems like you are saying…" or "I think I am hearing you say…" show them that you are actively listening and trying to help.

Psychotherapy — like cognitive behavioral therapy and dialectical behavior therapy — can help a person with thoughts of suicide recognize ineffective patterns of thinking and behavior, validate their feelings, and learn positive coping skills. Suicidal thoughts are a symptom, just like any other. They can be treated, and they can improve over time.

Suicide is never the answer. There is always hope.

• Call or text 988 — Suicide & Crisis Lifeline (24/7)
• Chat at 988lifeline.org
• Text NAMI to 741-741 — Crisis Text Line
• Veterans Crisis Line — Call 988, press 1; or text 838255
• Disaster Distress Helpline — Call or text 1-800-985-5990
• NAMI HelpLine — nami.org/help

If you or someone you love needs support, please reach out. I would rather answer a call from you in crisis than speak at your funeral.