Why did I know I wanted to become a licensed counselor?  I don’t have an exact day or time but I can definitely tell you that it was somewhere in middle school. For sure there was a GIANT blinking red light over my head by the time I was in high school.  I was ALWAYS the one that my friends came to for advice.  I was the “momma”  to all my friends.

About My Journey to Becoming a Licensed Counselor

So my journey to become a licensed therapist began early and I never deviated from it.   Yes, as a kid I wanted to be an olympic gymnast   (too many broken bones)  then an olympic diver)less broken bones, but some good bruises from smacking the water flat on my back.

Then there was a short stink of wanting to become a marine biologist. But let’s be real, the math and science gene literally skipped me and landed straight on my brother’s head and subsequently onto my son’s.   So, thanks to my friend Fred Landers in high school (who I think did go on to become a marine biologist)  I dodged the bullet on that humiliation. 

After two years at UH I moved to UTSA- University of Texas at San Antonio, and finished up my undergrad there.    As I got further along into the degree plan I became familiar with the graduate teachers in psychology. 

They were encouraging and helped lead me down the right path.   Gave me classes to take and told me how to get into grad school.  So, of course I stayed at UTSA for grad school.    Point of interest.  If you go to the grad school where you go your undergraduate you don’t have to take the GRE upfront to get accepted.  (not sure if this still applies) but it was worth the knowledge back then.

During graduate school we had the OJ Simpson trials. I remember exactly where I was when the verdict came out.   There was a lot of debate and emotion that week.

But then all our minds and hearts shifted to, what I consider the first modern mass school shooting in our country, the Columbine High School shooting.  This event changed the course of my degree plan. 

I watched in horror as their school counselor, a licensed counselor just like me,  was vilified and blamed for this tragedy.  Licensed counselors across the country had their opinions about this. Some positive and some negative.  It made me turn away from high school counseling and set my focus on non profit work to other areas where I would not be crucified by our country.  It was a dark time for counselors and I knew where I wanted to set my course.

Fast forward a few years.  Graduate school graduation, moving back to Houston, marriage, finding a job that would supervise me while I worked on getting my 2000 hours in needed to complete my Licensed Professional Counselor requirements. 

While all that was happening I got a great job at DePelchin Children’s Center where I would work for 6 years in various departments.  I cut my teeth in therapy services there.  I did individual, family and group work. I was immersed with like minded, compassionate and creative people who were passionate about counseling. 

Qualities of A Licensed Therapist You Should Look For

Through all of my ups and downs, bumps and hurdles, I have definitely worked up into what I consider a healthy clinical practice.  There are traits that you cannot directly learn in the classroom that have to develop over time.   This website outlines the most valuable traits one needs in order to be a successful therapist, also known as a licensed counselor.   If you know me, you know that I cherish these skills and know that I have to keep up with all the most recent practices in order to be the best licensed counselor I can be. 

Let’s check out their list. Think about a licensed therapist you are currently working with or perhaps you are considering starting therapy and need this list to help you navigate the waters of finding a goodness of fit between you and your therapist. 

Communication skills

Communication skills will play a key role in your relationship with your clients. You need to know how to confidently set boundaries, communicate ideas, and provide guidance to the person before you without harshness or condemnation. Your communication should help patients understand they can trust you to listen and provide expert advice.

Patience

Patience will become a critical trait as a counselor. You will encounter clients who struggle to make progress or who make decisions that do not benefit them. As a counselor, you must have the patience to walk them through their struggles so that they can find their way to a healthier life.

Confidence

Counselors must be confident in the services they provide and how they help clients. When someone comes to you for help with a particular issue, you are there to provide them with clear guidance and assistance. As a professional, you should always look for ways to improve your skills and learn about some of the latest breakthroughs in the field. After all, confidence does not mean knowing everything there is to know. It does mean, however, understanding how to help your clients and coming to each session with a plan and confidence in your understanding.

Non-judgmental

Counselors also regularly meet with clients who have made choices that they do not agree with. The counseling session, however, is not about letting the client know what they have done wrong. Instead, you want to focus on leading the client towards a future where they feel confident and empowered enough to make positive changes for themselves. If the client feels judged, it can put a major obstacle to the progress you can make together as a counselor and client. Instead, you want to nurture a relationship where the client feels comfortable being open.

Trust

Clients who come to your counseling door suffer in some way. Whether they struggle in their relationships with others, have a mental illness, or have a substance misuse problem, for example, your clients have to know that the person they choose to open up to is worthy of their trust. As a counselor, you need to let your client know they can trust you by using good listening skills, creating a welcoming environment, and demonstrating your dedication to helping them. Demonstrating your respect for important principles, such as confidentiality and showing that you prioritize them can also help build this trust.

Respectful

You also need to focus on showing your clients that you respect them as people. Shame can result in people being more at risk for mental health challenges, such as anxiety or depression. As a counselor, although you might not be able to prevent a person from being embarrassed by their actions, your response to such situations, and demonstrating respect regardless of their mistakes, can help guide them past their shame.

Acceptance

As a counselor, you also need to demonstrate an open and accepting attitude towards your clients. Everyone who comes into your office should know that you are ready to meet them where they are. You understand that they have experienced stress and trauma, but as an effective counselor, you accept them as they are and want to help them heal.

Self-aware

As a licensed counselor, you also need to be well aware of your own struggles. For example, roughly 1 in 7 children experienced some type of abuse or neglect in the past year alone. When dealing with these common sources of trauma, the issues your clients struggle with may also be issues you have intimate experience with, either personally or through someone you are close to. As a counselor, you must have the self-awareness necessary to know how these stories might impact you and how to separate your own experiences so that you do not allow them to impact the care you provide. Many counselors report that their own experiences have encouraged them to enter the field, so know how you can use these experiences to strengthen your own practice, rather than allowing it to become a hindrance.

Appreciating of diversity

You will encounter clients from all walks of life. They will likely come from a variety of different backgrounds culturally, ethnically, and socioeconomically. Differences in gender expression and identification, as well as sexuality, will also come through your door. As a counselor, you must be welcoming of this diversity. Being appreciative of this diversity will help you be open and accepting to each client so you can give them the care they deserve.

Empathetic

Finally, you want to make sure you are empathetic. While boundaries remain important, let your clients know your compassion and empathy for their situation. Demonstrate your dedication to guiding them through their struggles so that they can find their way to a healthier situation.

As you can see this is an important list. These traits are valuable and necessary in creating a successful working therapeutic relationship. When I work with my clients, or refer my friends to a licensed therapist, I suggest that you try out a new therapist for AT LEAST 3 sessions before you decide that this isn’t a good working relationship. 

Tell that to your children before their initial therapy session and get them to commit to trying 3 times before looking for someone else. Be ready to be challenged by your licensed counselor and don’t take that as a reason to terminate, but also be strong and clear about your needs and feelings at all times.  It will help you make the most of your sessions, I promise.