Just before COVID kicked in, I was in a relationship with somebody and it wasn’t what I knew I wanted or needed. And when it ended I decided that I needed to do some soul-searching and possibly take my self care routine up a notch. Not that I thought there was a TON of stuff wrong with me (OKAY, actually I thought it WAS about me until my therapist told me to slow my roll and I was a lot better than I thought I was) I just felt like I needed to look inwardly and see what it was about myself that I liked and what it was about myself that I wanted to dig deeper into.
So I started looking at books and reading things online and looking for different types of materials to help me in this process. This blog is dedicated to all the great books, all the great websites and all the great support mechanisms that I found that helped me on my journey.
Books That Soothe Me
Buy Yourself the F*&^ing Lilies By Tara Schuster This Queen is SLAYING it with her book! I have notes written in the margins and post-its all over the place. In her book she is complex, honest and vulnerable and inspirational. Her website has all her deets and while I LOVED her audiobook, halfway through listening to the book, I had to stop and buy the paper copy so I could write ALL OVER IT! It really resonated with me and gave me some very clear ideas and inspirations. I have actually given away my one copy and had to buy another to replace it. I didn’t even mind losing the one with my notes because I knew that my notes might be good for the friend I gave it to.
One website outlines the parts of the book I love with the following, Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies is the story of Tara’s path to re-parenting herself and becoming a “ninja of self-love.” Through simple, daily rituals, Tara transformed her mind, body, and relationships, and shows how to:
- fake gratitude until you actually feel gratitude
- excavate your emotional wounds and heal them with kindness
- identify your self-limiting beliefs, kick them to the curb, and start living a life you choose
- silence your inner frenemy and shield yourself from self-criticism
- carve out time each morning to start your day empowered, inspired, and ready to rule
- create a life you truly, totally f*cking LOVE
This is the book Tara wished someone had given her and it is the book many of us desperately need: a candid, hysterical, addictively readable, practical guide to growing up (no matter where you are in life) and learning to love yourself in a non-throw-up-in-your-mouth-it’s-so-cheesy way.”
See why I LOVE this book!
One of the key things I took from this book was the question of “Who are your road warriors? It was recommended to take three post its (I chose the large lined ones) and make three different lists of the following people.
One list is to write down your Road Warriors. Those people of all ages in similar career situations to your own- those you would go to when you need advice or when you’re seeking feedback.
The second is Who are your Hype Men/Women? These are people you would go to when you need love, care and encouragement but not criticism.
And the third list is your “Who are your NO WAY, ARE YOU CRAZY?” people. The people who love you but may be snide or dismissive of your ideas.
Using these three lists I have been able to separate out who my go to people are based on my different needs at different times. It allows me to reach out to people on a specific list when I am in need of something in that category. My hype people may not be the best at advice but when I am looking for just encouragement or a cheerleader they are my go to people! It’s a great exercise in acknowledging your friends as who they are and how they each serve you differently when you are in need.
The Comfort Book By Matt Haig After reading his book, The Midnight Library, which was AMAZING, I checked him out and saw this cute other book of his called The Comfort Book.
I had a listen and quickly was hooked! It’s part memoir and part motivational book. Amazon has a special on the hardback and I think I bought 4 and sent them to people I thought would also vibe with it.
I have it sitting on my nightstand with a pencil wedged in the pages. I write on the pages and find the ways that each page resonates with me. It’s got some triggers related to mental health but its powerful message of hope and determination is there in every page.
Heal Your Body from A-Z
I just love the vibe of this book! Thirftbooks says, “In this handy A-Z book, based on her bestselling Heal Your Body, Louise Hay shows you that, if you are willing to do the mental work, almost anything can be healed.
Just look up your specific health challenge and you will find the probable cause for this health issue, as well as the information you need to overcome it by creating a new thought pattern. The list of mental equivalents in this book has been compiled from Louise’s many years of study, her work with clients, and her lectures and workshops.
You will find that Heal Your Body A-Z is invaluable as a quick-reference guide to the probable mental patterns behind the dis-ease in your body. As Louise says, “I offer you this list with love, and a desire to share this simple method of helping to heal your body — A to Z!”
I love using the energy of crystals, I love using essential oils and this is a great book that supports my holistic views of health and healing. This is a great quick reference style book to help all your body parts heal!
Welcome To My Panic by Billie Joe Armstrong The super talented and amazing front man for one of my favorite bands, Green Day, wrote and narrates his own journey through his life and the ups and downs, Audible states, “Soaring ambition. Unwavering integrity. Billie Joe Armstrong isn’t the first punk to negotiate mainstream success, but he might be its most undisguised example. In Welcome to my Panic, Green Day’s iconic front man holds nothing back as he tracks listeners through his deeply personal and artistic journey in raw detail.
Matching his emotional storytelling with new, exclusive, recordings of Green Day’s biggest hits including “Basket Case”, “Good Riddance”, “Wake Me Up When September Ends”, and “American Idiot”, Armstrong chronicles the seminal moments in his life: the trauma and triumphs that have come to define him. As we listen, Billie Joe reminds us punk rock is not about how hard you can play but how hard you can remain yourself.”
Panic and anxiety are something I deal with a lot in my work. It’s one thing that comes around in almost every conversation. Seeing famous people who are in the media on a daily basis be as vulnerable as they are with their mental illness is something to honor. Armstrong is honest, vulnerable and paints a true and vivid picture of his personal journey through life.
Self Care That Fuels My Soul
29 Gifts. How a Month of Giving Can Change Your Life by Cami Walker
This book was truly awesome. Ironically I was diagnosed with a tumor shortly before reading this book and it really shifted things for me. Amazon describes it as, “At age 35, Cami Walker was burdened by a battle with multiple sclerosis, a chronic neurological condition that made it difficult for her to walk, work, or enjoy her life. Seeking a remedy for her depression after being hospitalized, she received an uncommon prescription from an African medicine woman: give to others for 29 days.
29 Gifts is the insightful story of the author’s life change as she embraces and reflects on the naturally reciprocal process of giving and receiving. Many of Walker’s gifts were simple – a phone call, spare change, a Kleenex. Yet the acts were transformative. By day 29, not only had Walker’s health and happiness improved, but she had created a worldwide giving movement.
The book also includes personal essays from others whose lives changed for the better by giving, plus pages for the reader to record their own journey. More than a memoir, 29 Gifts offers inspiring lessons on how a simple daily practice of altruism can dramatically alter your outlook on the world”.
This book helped me see the creation of gift giving as a way through my emotions as well as fulfilling a basic premise of Judaism that has us give to others. It was like a two for one special!
On Being Human By Jen Pastiloff– She’s a ROCK STAR AND I LOVE HER! Her book was given to me by a friend and I think I have given out 2 more copies to others myself!
Her podcast, which we will talk about later, was a rapid favorite of mine and I am ADDICTED!
Her website says its, “An inspirational memoir about how Jennifer Pastiloff’s years of waitressing taught her to seek out unexpected beauty, how deafness taught her to listen fiercely, how being vulnerable allowed her to find love, and how imperfections can lead to a life full of wild happiness.”
Her book inspired me to start listening to her podcast. Through that I have “met” a variety of speakers, leaders and inspirational leaders who I am also following and learning from.
JSilk + Sonder Monthly Journal Kits
I wanted to stay more on top of my goals and habits as well as my monthly calendar. This monthly subscription kit has it all. Small enough to drop in a purse but complex enough for me to get out some thoughts, track my habits and goals and keep an eye on my schedule. They come each month and have various themes. The artwork is attractive and feminine and the content fits all personality styles. When I get my new monthly planner I flag the habit and mood tracker pages, because I love to keep an eye on those two things specifically. There are puzzles and coloring pages to keep your creative side engaged too! They also have a website and an app that has so much more available! There are courses you can take, life activities and training and everything in between!
Podcasts I Vibe With…
The Happiness Project– Gretchen Ruben wrote a cool book. Then she started a podcast. And I can’t be happier about it! (See what I did there) lol.
There are podcasts about habits, journaling, and about creating a happier, healthier, more productive and a more creative life. She has over 500 podcasts so you won’t have time to get bored or ever have FOMO when the podcasts end. They are NEVER ENDING!
What Are You Bringing? With Jen Pastiloff and Ace Easter
After one of my fru-fru friends, who is more about self care than I am, told me to read Jen’s book, I found out she had a podcast and I dove right in! I cannot tell you how INTO these podcasts I am!
The two of them are raw, there is no filter (potty language included!), they share their deeply personal stories right alongside their favorite picnic menus!
Their guests include people like Krista Vernoff (Grey’s Anatomy) Bishop Michael Curry, Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray Love) and Laura Brown, and Erin Brokovich to name a few. The premise of their podcast is to talk to people who are inspiring or living their most authentic life.
At the end of each podcast the guest is asked, “what are you bringing to the picnic? ”
Sometimes the guests bring a favorite food, sometimes they bring a value, but they are always interesting snippets into their personal side.
Self Care Apps that are Extra for Me
Headway– Whenever someone I know was telling a long winded story, my cousin Rusty used to say, “just give me the meat and potatoes” He didn’t need the lead up, the adjectives or even the fluff, he just wanted to hear the specifics to get the point across.
The Headway app does just that! It gives you 15 minute synopses of the most important nonfiction books around today. It takes all the important points and gives it to you straight. Its cliff notes for bestsellers today and in the past. I can listen to the details of a good book while getting ready for work every day! Or while commuting to work!
Blinkist – Similar to headway but it also reviews not only books, but podcasts called “Shortcasts”. They include topics like, Personal Development, Psychology, Productivity, Career & Success, Science, Management & Leadership, Motivation & Inspiration, Mindfulness & Happiness, Money & Investments, and Communication Styles. They outline books like, The Magic Brain, Atomic Habits, 12 Rules for Life, Zero to One, and the Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fu&k. It’s another great way to get the “Cliff notes” of some great non fiction help books.
The Fabulous- Backed by behavioral science, Fabulous is an accountability partner in your pocket to help you make smart changes and build healthy habits. Ready to take your life to the next level? Thai site has a coaching library you can access, they offer LIVE coaching opportunities as well as joining communities of like minded people with similar goals. The app helps with creating healthy habits one day at a time, as well as working on how you structure your daily life. The graphics are appealing and music soothing. The positive reinforcement when you hit a goal is also appealing and motivating! Try it today!
Ten Percent- A meditation app for peace and calming. Last year they offered this app to teachers for a year for FREE! Several of us took advantage of this and got started. One of my coworkers has been using it all summer and smiles and gushes whenever she talks about using it. You can start with basic meditation needs or skip along if you already know the initial steps one needs to learn in order to practice meditation/mindfulness.
As you can see I have a plethora of interesting resources at my disposal for helping me get through a long day, a long week, a long month or a pandemic. LOL I hope you check some of these out and they provide you with the same amount of motivation and success as I’ve gotten.